Why do couples choose what to take to their new home as their hill to die on?

There are many reasons to start an argument with your better half. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, couples tend to argue over small, usually pointless stuff. When you come to think of it, how could it be any other way? After all, when two completely different personas try to coexist with the same rules and environment, clashes of interest can’t be avoided. There is no wonder that moving homes is one of the most challenging periods for any couple. What’s interesting, though, is what they mostly argue about.

Who do we argue with when moving homes?

A Fantastic Services survey among their clients gives us one pretty clear picture of the most common reasons for arguments when moving homes. The home service giant is one of the most prefered removals and storage providers in the UK, and thanks to their first-hand experience across the entire UK, we can take a quick look at what makes the mover’s blood boil. According to the survey, about 34% of all movers get into an argument. Of course, that’s completely normal, as almost everyone finds moving homes stressful. Usually, the person we tend to argue with is the one that’s closest to us. Most commonly (20%), people who move homes squabble with their life partners. This is especially true for young people aged 18-34, who find a reason to fight with their partners in 35% of cases. Middle-aged people aged 35-54 are right on the national average, with 20% of them arguing with loved ones over moving homes, while seniors are the least prone to start a fight with their beloved. They only do it about 8% of the time. There are many reasons behind these numbers. First, of course, there is the wisdom of the elderly and the fact that those aged 55+ are most inclined to seek professional help when moving homes. About 52% of them will enlist a removals and storage company to do their moving for them. 

However, the main reason is most probably the experience the elderly have. While the 18-34-year-olds are probably moving for the first time, the 55+ year-olds are doing it for the third or even fourth time. Some of them even more. So naturally, if their initial move didn’t separate the couple, a subsequent one is highly unlikely to do so. Furthermore, when you are 55+, your market for new partners is not particularly widespread, so keeping what you have is your safest bet. 

What do we argue about when moving homes?

There are various reasons to get on each other’s throats, though some are far more common than others. Interestingly only 13% of people argue whether they should hire a professional company. Naturally, hiring someone else to do your job for you is not easy. Many perceive it as a sign of weakness, especially in the middle-aged group, where only 35% of people would hire professionals to help them move. However, as the senior group has tried and tested, it’s a secure way to reduce stress and arguments. Actually, only about 17% of people aged 55+ start a fight when moving homes, while the percentage is twice as high among those aged 35-54. 

When it comes to removals and storage companies, the bigger argument is not whether to hire them but how much to pay them, as 16% of people get into a fight over this question. Naturally, this gets significantly less important when you have some experience, so those aged 18-34 are most prone to start a quarrel over the removals company price. Every fifth youngster will start an argument over this. In contrast, only 13% of the middle-aged and 11% of the senior group will do the same. 

These numbers, however, pale when it comes to deciding what to take to the new place. 

80% choose what they will take to their new home as their hill to die on

Four out of five people would argue over their belongings, what they should take, how they will move them and how many trips they have to make. Every third respondent shares they argued because they had too much stuff to move. 28% started a fight because they didn’t want to get rid of some of their belongings and another 19% got into an altercation because they had to make way too many journeys to move everything. 

Regarding this aspect, there is no significant difference across age groups. Those on the younger side would argue over it a bit more often – 83%, while those aged 55+ would do it a little below average 76%. The true division on this issue is by gender. Male respondents started an argument over this in 70% of cases, while almost every female did the same. 91% of them got into an altercation when moving homes because of their belongings. There are several reasons behind these numbers, but the main one is that women are much more emotionally attached to items. They are far more prone to assign an additional value to their belongings, while men do it less so. 

However, as it has become evident by Fantastic Services’ survey, both genders are very much ready to start an argument over their belongings with their loved ones, despite being one of the less important things when moving to a new home. Still, that’s precisely where they put their foot down and won’t budge no matter what. The reason for this neurotic behaviour from almost anyone who moves homes, regardless of age, gender or other deviations, is the power struggle that’s always there when you are part of a relationship. Usually, when there is a huge change in your life, you feel you’ve made significant concessions to make the other one happy, so you expect them to make a concession on the last step, which is usually moving your belongings to the new place. However, you remain oblivious that the other party is feeling the same. That’s the reason why most couples choose exactly this trivial matter as their hill to die on. 

What is the fallout?

Thankfully these arguments rarely end up with severe consequences. However, Fantastic Services’ survey has shown that about 6% of all couples will split after the move is done. Those aged 18-34 are most hot-headed in this regard, and one out of ten would end a relationship over this argument. In contrast, those who have already moved are far less likely to split up. The middle-aged group would do it only in 2% of cases, while those aged 55+ will only go this far in less than 1% of cases.  

To avoid this fate, you need to follow a few simple steps. First, don’t get on each other’s nerves. Don’t diminish the value of an item just because you have no attachment to it. Discuss the issues with a cool head, and don’t let your stress and frustration get a hold of you. It’s been tried and tested that hiring a removals and storage company may help at least with the packing, moving and unpacking, so investing some additional funds in your piece of mind is not a bad idea. However, you should remember to respect your partner’s wishes and not underestimate their concessions over the entire process. After all, a house can’t be a home when you are alone in it.